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In that moment, I knew I had to come out. When we got home, I went straight to my room. I closed the door, sat on the floor in the corner by my bed, and I started crying. My anger switched to fear. I started calling different friends, hoping I'd hear something that would give me the courage to come out to my family. One of my friends had come out a few months prior, and her family disowned her. I was on the phone with her, trying to keep my voice together, and she told me it would be OK. As I heard my siblings getting ready to leave for their friends' houses, I knew my window of opportunity was closing. That was the moment. I hung up the phone, opened my bedroom door, walked down the hallway into the kitchen with my head down, and started crying. All my anger left. All my fear left. I felt exhausted, defeated, and vulnerable. In between sobs, I said, 'I'm gay.' The aftermath: I had less support than I realized I would have, which included a mock coming-out party, rainbow-painted cake,. "Well," she went on. "I'dbetter let you get on. I can see you're a busy housewife. It's nice tomeet you. I have a niece who must be about your age. I expect she willcome and see me sometimes. Goodbye for now." I smiled and said"Goodbye."As I carried on with my housework, I kept thinking about my newneighbour and that she had a niece. She seemed very nice and remindedme a little of my own Auntie Ann, whom I hadn't seen for several years.She had been very indulgent to me as a young teenager, but what wouldshe think if she saw me now? Would she indulge and encourage mydressing in female clothes? And did Mrs Lacy guess my little secret?She would, I realised. As soon as she saw me in boy mode.It started to get a little darker and I started to feel hungry. Isuddenly realised that it was nearly evening. I had been cleaning,tidying and polishing nearly all day, and I had only done the livingroom and hallway. It did look much better now. How come I never noticedhow untidy it was before? I had.
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